Accommodations
by
John T. Mason
Forty naked men sat squeezed,
three deep around a pit about three feet wide and five feet long.
We sat in cool, wet grass. I reached above to feel the canvass ceiling
just inches from my head. Without glasses-we were told not to wear
them because of the heat-I strained to see the murky figures across
from me. I felt disoriented and alone. Most of all I was afraid of
embarrassing myself in front of other men. Off to my right near the
entrance sat Joseph. Behind him a little moonlight shone through the
flap crease. I estimated that I would have to negotiate six or seven
bodies to make my escape. I could hear my breathing. To be outside
alone seemed even more frightening.
I could see a glow on a blissful face as he blew on the sage. Joseph
had written a book on nature-based, in-the-woods, spiritual, life-affirming
subjects. Tall and thin, a man about fifty years old, I imagined his
taking delight from his herbal teas, berries and beans. I hated him.
The aroma of sage filled the room.
The flap opened. Now I realized why the huge fire had been tended
all that day. A way was cleared for a pitchfork device that held a
pulsating, red-hot football shaped stone. All eyes opened wider, like
animals in the dark forest, drugged by the dancing red light. The
pitchfork man made ten visits before the flap was closed. Joseph reached
down, began chanting something, and poured water over the stones.
The heat made us gasp for air.
I felt that I was going under . I could hear my whimper between breaths.
"Oh, God, how long will this last? What was I doing here? What
was I going to find out about myself?" It was too painful to
concentrate on the chanted words. There was meaning there, but not
for me. More stones arrived. More water. "Jesus, I just want
to survive." I was sitting in a puddle of my own sweat; my fingers
had turned to prunes. The steamy pit seemed to move up from the ground.
I could hear voices joining in the chanting. Did I hear my own voice?
Counting prunes: one, two, three, four, five, four, three, two, one,
two. What was I learning about myself? No military secrets were safe
with me. I would gladly tell all. My essential cowardice, my private
humiliation made public. My flight from the bully. And then I heard
myself, "Oh, this heat. I don't think I can make it." Quiet.
No scornful words, no laughing. Across from the pit came a voice,
"Thomas, you're OK, man, you'll make it." I cried with gratitude.
I breathed. I continued.
Suddenly, it all stopped. The flap opened and we crawled quietly out
into the comforting night. Each of us found a space to lay our naked
bodies on the luxurious, cool, wet grass. Each looked up at the bright
full moon. It was glorious. Without my glasses, it was as though I
saw the stars and moon from under water. Not far from where I lay,
I heard a voice say to me, "Thank you, Thomas, I could not have
made it without you." I would not drown. I took a deep breath.
I was not alone.
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